Today began my official foray into the tried and true Carnegie method. Just pages into the introduction, I’d already learned a new term- “human engineering”. This refers to “personality and the ability to lead people”, and according to Dale Carnegie it makes up 85% of what determines professional success (actual technical knowledge making up a puny 15%).
This prompted two simultaneous streams of anxious mind chatter. Stream #1: Since I am currently UNsuccessful at landing a job, does this mean that I’m bad with people? I do resent being approached by salespeople at retail outlets of any kind, ruthlessly screen my calls, and get very snippy with automated voice prompts when dealing with my wireless provider. Is this my Achilles heel? Stream #2: Maybe this IS my strength and THAT’S the problem, as I am currently stalled out in the relentless self-promotion vortex of resumes and cover letters. True, my resume reads more like a “Things To Do Before I Die” manifesto than an inventory of professional prowess, but I am an interview kind of person. I imitate body language and tone of voice, maintain good posture, and don’t shy away from direct eye contact. But I can’t work the room if I can’t get in the door. Dammit, Dale, what now?
In researching this book, Mr. Carnegie interviewed the most successful people of the day, from FDR to Clark Gable, attempting to ferret out the common denominator for getting ahead and staying there. Based on his findings, he created a fourteen-week course, and this book as its primary text. I am attempting to harvest the fruits of his labor in a mere fourteen days, but I am banking on the fact that much of what was revelatory back then has become institutionalized in our culture since. Carnegie recommends “a vigorous campaign of review and application” to get the most out of this book. I am modifying that to “a moderate attempt at daily perusal” to better suit my current temperament. Today, for example, it was all I could do not to surrender the interval between sunrise to sunset to an unpleasant cold virus, and the ghastly pall of the rejection letter I got yesterday. Baby steps.
Chapter 1 is entitled “If You Want To Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over the Beehive”, which he distills at the end of the chapter into Principle 1: “Don’t Criticize, Condemn, or Complain”. He uses “Two Gun” Crowley and Al Capone to illustrate the idea that people don’t tend to criticize or blame themselves for anything, so there is little to be gained by aiming critique at them, because they’ll never own up. Does this point to some seismic psychological shift that’s happened in the last seventy years? Self-loathing has become so commonplace it’s practically cliché- isn’t that what keeps Dr. Phil in business? On a bad day, I tend to blame myself for everything from my dad’s arterial plaque to the national debt. There is a gem here though, in addition to the idea that applying these principles to my relationship with myself may not be a bad idea. Carnegie encourages us to lead with curiosity rather than criticism. Attempt to find out why someone may be behaving the way that they are, rather than condemning right off the bat. Good one.
I think I can manage to avoid criticizing or condemning most of the time, and I’ve never considered myself a big complainer, so Principle 1 was shaping up to be a pretty smooth ride. Except for the fact that on days like today, when the sky looks like lead and my Inbox is a yawning void, with nary an interview request in sight, complaining feels like scratching some subcutaneous itch. On days like this, I want a God with a beehive hairdo and false eyelashes who will chomp on a wad of fruity gum and say, “Mmm hmm, you poor sweet baby, life’s just kickin’ you in the teeth ain’t it? Let me make you a Coke float” while I moan about the oatmeal I spilled on my robe, the $3 service charge from the ATM, and the headache I got from my drug store hair clip. I guess I’ll just keep those thoughts between me and my truck stop waitress version of God, at least for the next two weeks.
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