Put Me In, Coach

March 9, Week 2, Day 9

     Today, as I was poring over chapters one and two of Part Three (“How To Win People To Your Way of Thinking”), I noticed a flock of blackbirds pecking at a patch of ground outside my window.  They looked very industrious and intent on harvesting whatever bounty the newly melted snow had revealed.   Animal Speaks by Ted Andrews suggests that the appearance of a blackbird foretells new surprises.  Later, I went to the grocery store, bought some salad dressing for my dad, and delivered it to him at work as he requested.  But lo and behold, he had already sent his secretary out to buy some, since he didn’t think I would remember to do it.  Surprise!

     If I were a fully realized human, or even just a shade more enlightened than I am, I would have no trouble relishing the simple acts of service I am able to perform each day, like buying and delivering my dad’s salad dressing.  Nor would I struggle at all with Principle 1 of Part Three- “The only way to win an argument is to avoid it”.  I do tend to try to defuse and deescalate arguments rather than incite and prolong them, but I find it difficult to walk away at times, knowing that my retreat may be construed as agreement with a point I am opposed to.  Nonetheless, I appreciate Carnegie’s insight that, when we argue, we encourage the other person to get their sense of importance from being right, rather than being listened to.  

     This dovetails quite well into Principle 2 of this section, which is “Show respect for the other person’s opinions.  Never say “you’re wrong”.  It is perfectly acceptable, and even advisable according to Carnegie, to admit that you yourself may be wrong.  This is a gesture of good will, and a sign that you are prioritizing the relationship over being right.

     As I mulled and masticated this advice throughout the day, it occurred to me that the arena where these insights would be most useful to me at present would be in my relationship with the Universe/ God/ Great Spirit/ Grand Hoo Ha running the show.  Not a day goes by lately that I don’t file a request with “All That Is” to expedite this excruciatingly prolonged and anxiety-producing process of new life/new job hunting.  I’ve vowed to surrender all attachment to the where and the what.  I really have.  I’ve even tried to figure out what unfinished business might be tying up the process (standard self-help protocol). I’ve worked on my daily practices, refined my interviewing skills, and tried to confront my dominant “issues”.   I’m pretty attached to whatever I do in some way helping to create a more peaceful world in a locale with abundant outdoor recreation options, but other than that, I’m a puppet on a divine string (too much Yogi Tea perhaps?). 

     That said, I just can’t help kvetching over the timeline.  I know that in the spectrum of evolution, a few months is just a shadow of a micro-blip, but I’ve only got this one lifetime as Julie Aitcheson (I’m lobbying for something in southeast Asia next time around), and my clock is ticking at hyperspeed.   But in the spirit of Dale Carnegie, and his belief in the power of acts of good will, I am hereby extending an olive branch to the Unmovable Mover. 

Dear Big One,

Sorry for all the late night calls and repetitive questions.  I’ve been making a show of going with the flow, but really I’ve kept the reins clutched in my feeble hands, so sure that I was right about how all of this is supposed to unfold, when it turns out I may be wrong.  Please just remember that my life is not measured in light years, and that I think I could do something really good out there if you take me off the bench. 

With oodles of good will,

Julie

P.S. The word count of this entry topped out at 666 (no kidding!), which seemed ominous, so here’s a postscript about nothing for your reading pleasure.